Invite the Old to Build the New

For the past 20 years of my life, I just went along with whatever values, lessons and ideas that have grown within my family. I never put too much thought into why I just listen to what they say and find it to be golden or key to what I should follow. My family has had a major say in every value that has been put into my head. I remember recently having a conversation with my mother about the differences between her side and my fathers. First thing I think you should know, we aren't the average family. My mom mostly runs things, so I guess that kills the patriarch views most of America has. Yes, my parents are married and have been for over 30 years. My mom was telling me about how although it is only her and her sister, they have a huge family. Which is very true, my moms side seems larger than my dads and they are all close. My mom told about how her family believes that family is just that, family. No matter what happens, if one falls we all fall. If one smiles we all do. Her side values old southern views on religion and family. Marriage before children is a strong value although over the years it has seemed to fall apart. One thing that has remained consistent is the faith on the Lord. We have all been passed through the Baptist Church and baptized at a very young age. I was taught to never question the Lord, everything happens for a reason and do right. It didn't occur until I was older and hit high school that it is ok to question the family values. I started wondering if I could choose my own faith rather than be forced into one. (my mother)

Religion has always been a question to me. I wondered why there were so many branches. I wondered why something that was supposed to bring people together had the power to bring them to foolish decisions such as cults. Or why does it cause conflict like the wars going on in other parts of the world. I felt sometimes when things went wrong, that there wasn't a God. To say the least I went against family values a lot in that period with religion. Another strong value from my mother is education. Education is everything to my mother. We often get into arguments about why must I get certain grades when other children can get away with others. Why must I go to college when other family members (my fathers side) barely finished high school. I never really saw the bigger picture on why education was a big thing until my senior year of high school. I realized education is a competition these days. Those who can go the distance make it farther in the real world. You gain jobs required for survival in the unstable economy. You have more bragging rights for your peers. You also have an uneasy amount of debt but that's a different story. As I got further into college and questioned exactly why I was here, I always remembered my mom's constant nagging tied into my own ideas of success. I admit my family isn't a perfect one. I might not agree with their values and expectations. I can say that the values of family mean the most to me even if I find my own feelings toward religion, education and other things. I value their opinion to the highest extent. I might or might not follow what they say but I am happy knowing that it was passed down to me and shaping me into an independent person. Old values are a driving force behind my own feelings and growth on my journey to making my own life.

http://www.parenting.com/article/family-values http://www.christiannewswire.com/news/7767714517.html http://www.parentiq.com/news/definingyourfamilyvalues.asp